Topic, (Game) Corrupt-a-Wish! [said in sing-song manner]

  Granted, you headteacher kills you.

I wish for a simple answer (Not a wall of text)

  Granted!

I wish for tomorrow to be the LAST day of school until next August.

  Granted! However, I gave a Simple Reply.

I wish for no more walls of text in this chat

  Granted! Everything now remains exactly the same, forever. Nothing can move because if anything were to move the universe would not retain its state of stillness.
However, time still progresses, so you will be conscious the entire time, aware of the passage of time, but unable to move, breath, or die.

I wish that everyone will grant wishes with elaborate posts.

  Granted! The wish was not given to you but to me.


I wish for everything to remain exactly the same and have time carry on as normal.

  Granted, however when they dispose of the waste they take you and bury you alive. What kills you first - extreme radiation or suffocation?

I wish for another wish.

  Granted: However, they decide to deep fat fry you.

I wish that I had a personal nuclear reactor!

  The terrorists nuke a certain radius, which results in your whole city being destroyed! :(

I wish that a had a fast food chain inside my house! :D

  Granted!

oh crap i don't have wii u so idk maybe nintendo explodes and no more characters

i wish i could demand some terrorists to nuke mcdonalds and kfc, along with giving free memberships in gyms to make fat people sweat

  Granted! But in order to make a one dimensional battery, we must also flatten the atoms themselves to 1 dimension. By using magic we make this possible, but since its a one dimensional object it supplies one dimensional electrons to your devices. Unfortunately any 3 dimensional devices you have are incompatible with one dimensional electricity.
When you try to plug your phone into the one-dimensional battery, it explodes and you tragically die.

I wish for more characters to be added to the Super Smash Bros. Wii U roster.

  Granted! Sadly it is slightly broken so the aging mechanism is stuck at 1 second pr. second.

I wish for a truly flat battery.

  Granted! MrSuicideSheep gets sent to jail for massive copyright issues and his channel gets terminated until hell freezes over.

I wish I had an age increaser/decreaser machine.

  Granted! You get a new hearth. But as you play your hearth, a bird passing by gets upset by your awful playing and attacks you.

I wish for pleasant music.

  Granted! Everyone lives. Everyone who has ever lived through the the entire course of history. Animals are plants too of course. Soon the most of the human race is killed by the sheer biomass that suddenly exist on earth.

I wish for a second hearth.

  Granted! Since I now have the option, I choose to eradicate all humans. Since you are human, you are destroyed. However this leaves me the only living person in the world, so I'm doomed to live alone.

I wish everyone was back to life.

  Granted! You can now choose between killing people and eradicating other species.

I wish corruption corrupts the corruptor

  Granted! But due to budget constraints, we have no more magic. So instead we will tie a heavy chain to your foot and throw you into the ocean. This way you will be able to hit the bottom of the ocean and know what's down there, or at least your ghost will.

I wish I didn't have to kill people when corrupting wishes.

  Granted! You forgot to hold the ray when you shrunk so you were unable to retrieve it as it was miles away.

I wish for the knowledge of what is at the bottom of the ocean.

  Granted! I show up once again and *head starts spinning* I kill EverY sINgle ONE oF You! *goes back to normal* huh? what happened? ooh cake! and I stole your cake.

I wish for a size ray that can alter me and the rays size so I can become bigger or smaller

  Granted! He isn't. But he is now infected with every other existing virus!

I wish for another party

  Granted! Medics find the cure for ebola instead of curing your problems with your wishes full of lustful desires.

I wish PineappleDude wasn't ebola.

  Granted! But the explosion is so massive that it stretches space-time into a wormhole that carries the explosion to Earth and everyone dies.

I wish for the cure to corrupted wishes.

  Granted! You got a paper cut and died of a terrible infection that can only get into your body through said paper cut.

I wish for a massive, colorful explosion to occur at around 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 light-years away from us.

  Granted! But since matter cannot be created from nothing, I had to use the air around you to make the fried chicken. Since you now are inside a vacuum, you die of Ebullism before you can take your first bite of the chicken.

I wish for paper.

  Granted! You are now a massless point particle with a fixed position in space!

I wish for fried chicken

  Granted! Time starts to move so slowly your heart doesn't pump enough blood through your body to survive.

I wish I was perfect.

  Granted! But it's squid ink, and it can't write anything.

I wish there were 100 minutes in an hour.

  Granted! The world stops rotating so it will always be day-time where you live! But without rotation, the Earth looses it's magnetic field, and there's nothing to stop the trapped radiation in our atmosphere from showering down upon the Earth. You and everyone around you slowly dies of radiation poisoning.

I wish for a pen with ink in it.

  Granted. You accidentally open it and steps outside where you become trapped in your personal void (Quite a frequent happening for you, it seems)

I wish for no more night

  Granted! Everything you touch becomes hamburgers. And I really do meen EVERYTHING.

I wish for the door to the universe.